lately, everytime our song plays.... on the part where kelly is all i love you, and i need you, he points at me. i dont know if that's supposed to mean he's trying to say he loves me but doesnt know how to say it, or ... i dont know. it's confusing. and lately, he keeps making it a point to make cheesy jokes about how he's "falling." whether he's fallen or not is yet to be determined.

see, cuz he's different. he's only said "i love you" once to a girl. and that was only because she wouldnt get off the phone with him until he said it. it was her first time saying to him, and she wanted to hear it in return. so basically, he's never said it and meant it before. but then again, he's only dated super-short filipino breezies. never had a girl like me.

he likes to remind me of how different i am from other girls. he's lived a pretty sheltered relationship life. hung around the typical crowd. so what he's seen in me is something completely different from what he's used to. but its GREAT! because i've never had anyone like him either.

he's the type of guy that wont hide anything from me. he's completely open about everything. regardless of what it is. past. present. future. and that's what i need. someone who isnt all hung up on images. a guy who understands me well and who will willingly adjust. a guy who would do as much for me as i would for him. and im willing to do pretty much anything and everything for my guy....

but he's not my guy just yet.

we started holding hands walking on the beach. our first kiss was overlooking the ocean. innocent little peck as we cuddled. first makeout session at a friend's apartment. completely unexpected. but i love every moment with him. he's great.

but my mom is trippin. and i dont know how much longer i'll be able to stand it. damnit.

always shade with the sunshine.